Are you a baby envier? If so this post is for you!
ps. This adorable baby is my niece Willow.
I want a baby.
No, I need a baby.
I must have a baby!
I think I might be going crazy here.
Am I the only one? Or can I assume that if you are reading these words you have baby envy too?
I get on Instagram, I see babies. I log into Facebook & my feed is filled with Facebook friends announcing their pregnant, sharing pictures of their growing bellies & their adorable little babies – there are even women I know who younger than me having their 2nd & 3rd child. What the!?
I am a major baby envier.
I keep looking at the calendar, counting down the months & days till we can start trying. Yeah, we haven’t even started trying. We can’t, Roger Dale is in school. We want to be financially stable – capable – before we start down that road. Because once we start we don’t want to stop. We imagine a house full of kids, like 4-6! I know I am still young, but that is a lot of kids, & I want to start now. But I digress…
I want a baby.
When my sister sends me a cute video of a gender reveal or a Huggie commercial comes on TV, I cry. Every time I see a baby at the grocery store I smile, as you the mother rushes away from the woman with the creepy smile & envious eyes.
Every fiber of my being yearns to be a mother.
I keep recalculating the timeline. Start trying at 25, have our first at 26, then 28, then 30, & our last birth baby at 32 (at which point we start adopting). But that is just hopeful wishing. I worry we might not be able to get pregnant. Our combined medical history literally freaks me out, but the truth is I know very little in the grand scheme of life.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct[a] your paths.
But He said, “The things which are impossible with men are possible with God.”
Is anything too hard for the Lord? At the appointed time I will return to you, according to the time of life, and Sarah shall have a son.” … For Sarah conceived and bore Abraham a son in his old age, at the set time of which God had spoken to him.
Genesis 18:14 & 21:2
But the thing is, I don’t just have some selfish desire for children, I want to share love. Roger & I have so much love, we want to share it, we want it to grow, & we want to learn how to love more deeply, truly, & unselfishly.
We want to give love.
But I know I must learn patience. So I will take this time to grow in my faith & marriage & to continue reading more articles on motherhood & pregnancy so that when the time comes I will not fear birth more than death.
But those who wait on the Lord
Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint.
Wait on the Lord;
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the Lord!
As I wait my turn for motherhood I will continue to pray & trust God’s timing in my life & our future family.
To everything there is a season,
A time for every purpose under heaven:
Because for every matter there is a time and judgment,
Though the misery of man increases greatly.
And He said to them, “It is not for you to know times or seasons which the Father has put in His own authority.
I’d love to hear from you!
How do you combat baby envy?
Feel free to comment below, email me, or tweet me on Twitter!
With love, G
ps. If you are patiently waiting for motherhood or are struggling with infertility & are looking for further encouragement you will love Elisha’s blog – Waiting for Baby Bird.
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