As I snuggled in to eat a bowl full of pasta & enjoy an extra cheesy Christmas movie I was unprepared for how this movie would change how I viewed myself.
The movie, like any good cheesy Christmas movie, is about a woman, raising her niece & nephew after tragedy struck the Christmas before, who suddenly finds herself spending Christmas in a castle & being swept off her feet by a prince.
As the story first unfolds we find the woman being let go due to hard times in their small town.
I had just taken a big bite of my lunch when I heard her employer declare that she was the best “sales girl” he had ever employed.
At first I didn’t think I heard him right. No way did he just call this woman a girl! Under no circumstances would he have called a male employee a sales boy.
This made me so mad!
But not for the reason you think.
Even though I had seen this movie several times before this was the first time I had heard this line. And the reason I heard it is because it is a topic that has been on my mind for some time now.
A few months ago I noticed that I was calling women girls. I’d point out someone I went to high school with & say something like “I went to school with that girl.”
While some people might think nothing of this, I soon realized that the root of this habit came from something deeper. Something I didn’t expect to discover.
I think of myself as a girl. And I am not a girl!
I am many things. I am a female. I am a woman. I am a lady. But I stopped being a girl many years ago.
But it wasn’t until I watched this movie that I fully began to realize how this problem wasn’t mine alone.
Now I’m not here to argue when a girl becomes a woman, whether it’s when she menstruates for the first time, turns 18, 21, finishes college, has a baby, or anything else.
No, I simply want to bring awareness to a problem. A problem I have myself. A problem that too many men & women share with me.
By the way. As I was writing this post I decided to do a little research. If you search google images of “sales girl” & “sales boy” you will encounter very different things. When you look at the pictures of the “sales boy” the majority of the photos are of children. However, when you look at the photos of “sales girl” you will only see photos of women.
It’s enough to make your blood boil!
I’m not one to call names or blame people. The truth is the only person I can blame is myself & the only way to change the pattern is by demanding respect for myself & for my fellow women from myself.
Change begins with one person. And while you can’t change others you can change yourself & the way you allow others to treat you.
I am a woman. I can demand respect without being a big B. I can have standards while being a lady. I am a woman.
This is something that I need to constantly remind myself. Just because I am only 5 foot 2 inches & am constantly mistaken by strangers as a freshman in college, does not mean that I am a child.
First & foremost I am a woman of God. And I will live each day that God has given me striving to become the woman He has made me to be (Proverbs 31).
With love, G
She speaks with wisdom,
& faithful instruction is on her tongue.
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