Photo by Brian Lowman
I recently came to the realization that I had stopped praying for my husband. Yes we prayed together in the morning before I read the Bible to him while he ate breakfast, and yes we prayed at night together, and I even prayed for him when he had upcoming tests and projects due, but I wasn’t really praying. I discovered that not only had my prayers become semi-repetitive, but they had become superficial, they weren’t earnest, and I wasn’t praying for him.
My relationship with God is like most others, there are the ups and downs, and it takes work – like every relationship does. However, there is no excuse for my lack of prayers for my husband. As a wife, I have a spiritual duty to my husband – no matter where I am in my walk with Christ – to continually uplift him in prayer. My husband means more to me than anything else on this earth, and if I’m not helping him, I’m hurting him, and if I’m not praying for him, how am I helping him?
On our wedding day I vowed “to end each night with a kiss and a prayer” and although we have done well with ending each night in the above manner, there have been days – especially recently – when my prayers had been lacking in depth. Now I am not saying that there is anything wrong with simple prayers, for God calls us to be like children and if you have ever heard a child pray you know how simple their prayers are. Even though a child’s prayer can be very simplistic, they pray with an earnestness and honesty that God loves to hear and which I desire to emulate.
This earnestness and honesty is what I had been lacking. Many people pray for my husband – our parents, friends, family – but no one can pray for him like I can. I had been mainly praying for the superficial aspects of his life, forgetting the importance of praying for his fears, his struggles, and his desires. As his wife I am privy to more of his life and thoughts than anyone else, which gives me a very special opportunity to pray for him like no one else could. This in-depth knowledge is a gift from God that I do not want to take for granted.
My husband – and all husbands – need to be uplifted in prayer for their struggles, fears, hopes, dreams, desires, and their future. By uplifting my husband in prayer he becomes strengthened beyond himself and is able to face his daily struggles with faith that Someone greater is standing with him. My husband is studying in a field in which he comes into contact with a lot of people – and this will increase once he graduates – this means that he has an incredible opportunity to witness.
One of my prayers for him is that his verbal and physical actions will show others that he is not like the rest of the world – not even like other Christians – but that he is Christ-like. I pray about the difficulties and decisions we have not had to face yet, but I know we will in the future. These range from praying about his future practice, our unborn children, building a home, and the future we have together.
Through much prayer and scripture I have come to understand that it is not only important to be praying for our husbands, but also to pray for our own actions in regards to our husbands and everyone we meet. I might be earnestly praying, but if I am not also praying that I will be a good and faithful wife – someone he can trust and depend on – there is a possibility that I might cause his burdens to become even heavier. We both equally need God’s guidance and providence in our everyday lives.
Not only do I have my own personal struggles, but as a wife I need to be continually praying that God will help me be a Proverbs 31 wife. I want my husband to value me more than anything on this earth, for him to be able to trust me, and to bring him only good in this life and the next – in Heaven (Proverbs 31:10-12). I am nowhere near perfect, which is why I pray. I pray that I will be a good wife to him and a good mother to his children. I pray that I will love him with God’s love and continually show him Christ in my actions and words. I pray that our love lasts beyond this earth and into eternity.